Miracles do happen...

I believe in miracles if we look hard enough they are there to see, but there is also suffering and we see so much of that too in a wide range of scenarios.

Tonight though, after a long personal journey of someone I call a friend, I am celebrating and this is why... 

Just weeks before my first daughter was born a friend of mine gave birth to a baby boy, Joseph, who was born sleeping, it was a devastating loss for her, her partner and their young son Lewis to lose the little boy who they were expecting to come into their lives and give them sleepless nights and the true delights that a new addition to the family can bring.  Since that day life has never been the same again for Laura and as time has gone on she has experienced even more sadness, the losses of miscarriages and of failed IVF treatments, the pain kept on happening, more than any woman should be reasonably expected to cope with, I'm sure that at times she felt all hope had gone and only her son Lewis has given her a reason to fight and keep going.  She has always desperately hoped that one day she would complete her family and bring her baby home.

5.5 years on, this very night, that brave woman after a fraught pregnancy has given birth to a beautiful baby girl, so perfect on the photograph I have seen that she brought tears to my eyes.  Immediately my facebook feed errupted with the news that the little girl has arrived safely and I cannot begin to explain the feelings that even I, from a distance feel about the wonderful news she is here.

Someone wrote on Laura's facebook wall earlier, 'Laura you and this little girl are proof that miracles do happen and that dreams can come true.'  Amen to that x

An open letter to my daughter on the eve of her first birthday

Well Verity it's almost a year since you arrived in our lives, it's unbelievable now to think that you weren't ever here.

Looking back it seems a world away that we were waiting for you to arrive, you were so wanted by your sister and your Mummy and Daddy and our wishes came true when we learned that you were a girl, the pregnancy was hard-going and from 26 weeks I experienced severe pelvic pain and had to walk with crutches, you did all kinds of funny things twisting and turning inside, I was admitted to hospital and had to leave Olivia at home for the first ever time I was separated from her overnight and I felt so guilty, every day the Dr would come and you were in a different position, we called you, 'The Acrobat Baby.'

And then... on 18th February 2010 at 10.35 you arrived finally, delivered safely by c-section as the music 'Everything I do' by Bryan Adams played randomly on the radio in the background, time stopped and we loved you, but we wondered still how you would fit in our world, could we do it? could we be good enough? could we be good enough twice?

You suffered jaundice and severe reflux, we worried, we waited, we went back to hospital and Drs and we longed for life to be normal again but all the time we 3 were becoming we 4 as we grew to love and appreciate each other more.

We've all been blessed by having you in our lives, you are; baby, sister, daughter, friend, cousin, granddaughter, neice and so much more.  You've put fun and laughter in our hearts with your cheeky and lovable character and you've shown me most of all that love is not shared, in the right circumstances it multiplies.

I am so proud to be your Mummy.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart, a big girl at 1! x

Making Statements

'Are you wearing that to make some kind of statement?'


Just one of the obscure comments I have had when carrying my baby using a baby carrier or sling.  I'm not sure what kind of statement it could be but I guess it has a slightly critical edge to it's meaning and it got me thinking... Why is it so alien in our westernised culture to see someone carrying a baby? 

I'm not talking about the type of carrier where said baby dangles by it's crotch, separated from the carers body by the thick piece of foam between them, no, I am talking about cloth carriers sometimes known as slings used by indigenous people the world over and still used by many today, some people also call this baby wearing. 

I thought about that statement question afterwards far more than the questioner probably ever imagined or meant, making a statement, proving a point, being different, not quite the norm, no, it was none of those.  In the simplest terms sometimes baby wearing is just practical, a baby needs to be near other human beings they weren't designed for isolation, pop her in the carrier, she is more settled and I can get on with the housework, playing with her older sister and get around town without finding the best ramps and the lifts but it's also more than that, a lot more than that.

When I carry my baby she's at eye level, people talk to her and make eye contact.  From being tiny that communication gives her confidence and respect.  She's at the centre of what is happening but it's not all focused on her so she feels part of it and learns to behave appropriately in different situations.  Babies who are carried regularly cry less and as a result secrete less of the stress hormone cortisol into their brain.  Babies need the human touch, it is well reported that young babies in Romanian orphanages can become ill due to lack of attention and handling even though they are fed and watered, the human body needs touch to grow and develop and there's another thing, carrying my baby means I can kiss her little head, reassuringly stroke her back without even thinking about it and whisper to her as we stroll along just the two of us in our own little world she knows she is loved and protected.

On reflection then, I suppose yes, I am making a statement, a statement about the parent I aspire to be, one who always remember the infinite privilege of parenting and understands the value of these early years for the future of my children, their children and their children's children, the future is in our arms.


Further articles:
http://www.continuum-concept.org/reading/in-arms.html
http://www.attachmentparenting.org/parentingtopics/babywearing.php
http://www.thegreenparent.co.uk/articles/read/wear-your-baby/
http://www.slingguide.co.uk/benefits.php