Saturday, 31 December 2011

Happy New Year!

I can't believe I haven't posted in this blog since June!  That just about sums up how busy life is right now but events wise 2011 has been much quieter than 2010.  This year has mostly been about organising our life as working parents to two very individual children, we took two lovely holidays in Devon and Ireland and had weekends away in the Lake District, Dolgellau and Cardiff.  This year we added another Godchild to the special group of children who have special significance to us and who we are committed to praying for and supporting, Georgina Joanne was baptised in April, daughter to Jon and Lou and sister to Charlotte and we were delighted to share the special day with them all.  In May we gained a beautful baby niece Erin Hanna, daughter to Gav and Claire and sister to Ole.  Peter's nephew Tom got engaged to Amy and they will be married at Easter 2012 in London and we joined my extended family on Mum's side to celebrate the wedding of my cousin Marcus to Maxine joined with the christening of their son Harvey.  We have been fortunate in the last couple of years to spend time with old friends and meet new ones.  There have also been developments at home as we have gained new neighbours in the street after a period of having a number of empty properties around us so it is nice that we have started to get the feel of community again.

Olivia and Verity have continued to grow this year, Olivia is in Year 1 and takes part in French lessons, swimming twice a week and Saturday Singing Club, she is very sensible and a very caring older sister.  Verity has settled beautifully at nursery and is now in the toddlers building, she has proved to be as characterful there as she is at home and the range of her mobility for her age continues to astound us, she is also starting to talk now which is really lovely because she can communicate more fully with us although it is a little worrying that her favourite words at the moment are, 'No' and 'Mine!'  Both girls got scooters for Christmas and we are enjoying getting out in the fresh air to practice riding them and learning how to steer by balance.

So what for next year?  We are already looking forward to the wedding of Tom and Amy at Easter in London and a long weekend away in the Lake Disrict.  Dad's wife Barbara will celebrate her 60th at the end of Januray Verity will be 2 in February and Olivia 6 in August.  There is a strong possibility we may move house as there are plans to renovate the block we currently live in and the daily grind of work, commuting and managing the children with Peter working weekends and long hours will continue.  One of my ideals is to focus on doing what makes us as a family unit happy instead of pleasing others but I know I'm not very good at that, also to try and get a better work/life balance for Peter and I having the chance to spend nice times with the children.  We are thankful for all we have been blessed with in 2011, always thankful for 2 beautiful healthy children and hopeful for the future on the eve of 2012.
Happy New Year to you all!

Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Strike Action

I'm not striking myself on Thursday but I fully support all those who are.

This is the first time in my life I can make such a statement as I am fundamentally opposed to strike action in the public sector. 

My opposition of strike action started when I was a small child.  My Grandmother had been a nurse in her professional life, she was also a Welsh Conservative from a mining community and had strong views on strike action and the personal and professional compromise she had to equate.  Being in a vocational profession, which many in the public sector are, she recognised the impact on her patients that she had faced during times of industrial action and could not justify in any terms patients who lost dignity due to lack of nursing care.  This had a huge impact on me and I was fully signed up to the notion that private sector industrial action was wrong from an early age.

My own parents followed labour when I was younger but could rarely explain to me the whys and wherefores of politics and I became frustrated by the negative undertone and lack of personal and financial accountability I saw in the party and policies.

In the late 1990's I worked for a short time for a company in the private sector where I saw industrial action costing hundreds of thousands, even millions of pounds.  At this time I saw shop stewards who at times seemed ill informed and ill-educated militantly leading people into strike action which cost money and cost jobs.  My mind was made up, there must be a better way?

2011 here and now and the biggest teachers union and other public sector workers are about to go on strike.  I'm not striking myself, I don't belong to those groups but I do have a huge amount of sympathy for the majority of those who will be out on strike and these are the reasons why.
  • Many public sector workers are equally or better qualified than many of their contempories in the private sector yet are paid less in salaries during their working years and receive typically less in reciprocal benefits such as private health insurance, car schemes etc
  • The changes are too widespread, too big and too quick to be implemented
  • The summer strike will not majorly affect the education of children preparing for life changing examinations or transitional moves
  • There has been little or no compromise from the government alongside a host of other educational changes that are ill thought out, rushed and having an impact across the board such as the removing the BSF capital investment programme, academy policy, teacher training changes and changes to the inspection framework
  • Attacking public sector pensions on the basis that they are better than the private sector does not mean that pension provision across the board becomes acceptable but rather the public and government are making a statement that dignity, care and well being in old age is not important.  This is also shown in the shambolic care and state benefits system for older people in society that the government is yet to address. 
  • The government know this for them is a battle for the taxpayers support and not about the moral high ground or the financial deficit.  The PR/spam machine is in full swing!
  • The young in the profession will soon be saddled with huge tuition fee loans, with the cost of pensions set to rise by so much and diminished benefits, how many NQT's will be able to make increased pension contributions or see it as important.  In the long tern this leaves the tax payer with a much higher bill as it will need to provide state care and provision.
  • I am a parent and value how hard teachers work with my own child, pension contributions rising by up to 50%, the retirement age jumping, (let's face it how many private sector workers will be faced with 30 4 yr olds in a reception class unable to read and write or 30 15 yr old teenagers who can't be bothered to learn when they themselves are 68?)  Is this what is best for our children whether or not demographics tell us we are living longer? 
I urge everyone to think long and hard about strike action, what it means for our public services, what it means for our children and what it means that it is necessary in the first place and as for the Conservative party elements of the government, you are losing people who have supported you all their voting lives, get back to the sounding board and make some better decisions.

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Camping with the kids - tips and tricks to keep it fun

I'm not a natural camper and my husband certainly isn't.  Our decision to take up camping came about with the encouragement and persuasion of friends and family members who were campers and also a desire to allow our children to experience the great outdoors in a real way.  Many traditional, seasoned campers will think that my comments here are a long way from authentic DIY camping but for those who like a touch of comfort and sanity these are my thoughts on how to make a camping trip with kids fun.

Our first camping trip with Olivia aged 2, our set up has improved a lot since then.

Olivia aged 3 years 2 weeks in her camping gear
When you camp without children your tent is simply a place to lay your head, you can be spontaneous, adapt as the day or the weather changes and do things on a whim.  Whilst this is also true with little people, it is inevitable that with kids comes a element of routine and structure that might not be necessary in an all adult party.  The two key things that make a camping trip successful with kids are your kit and the way you organise yourselves.

1 Kit (This may seem an expensive list but you don't need to buy it all at once and there are lots of options for purchasing second hand camping gear or borrowing from friends/family/colleagues)
  • A tent with a sewn in ground sheet and a reasonable hydrostatic head.  Having a sewn in groundsheet keeps the tent warmer and better insulated, it also reduces considerably the number of creepy crawlies that can get into your tent.  The hydrostatic head should be a minimum of 1500mm for the British weather, this is related to how waterproof the fabric is and an essential part of being weatherproof.
  • Electric hook up cable.  Many sites now provide pitches that have electric hook up for tents.  Having access to electric with small people is a real bonus and one that we now consider essential.  We are able to camp with a small fridge, an electric light and in colder weather a small camping heater which is wonderful for taking the chill off while the children change into pyjamas or get dressed in the morning.
  • Full set of lightweight waterproofs for each member of the family.  These keep everyone warm and dry and reduce the amount and smell of dirty washing in the tent
  • A warm and comfortable bed.  Being outside all day in the fresh air is tiring and with children you need to be rested to face the next day with patience and enjoyment.  If you use an air mattress make sure it is insulated from underneath as well as what is on top of you, use layers of sheets, duvets and blankets to keep cosy and make sure your children are well wrapped up if you want them to sleep well.

Olivia at Silverdale September 2009

2 Organisation.  Planning will make your trip easier, being organised around key times in your trip will help you to stay calm and enjoy the trip.
  • Plan your packing, there is a lot to pack into the car when going camping, make sure you have a system and if your children are young a safe place for them to be while you are packing the car.
  • Plan your unpacking and time to set up camp.  This will depend on the age of your children, strategies we have used include, picnics in the car, portable DVD player in the car, windbreak garden small achievable tasks for them to help, camping with friends and taking it in turns to set up camp while you watch each others children.
  • Plan mealtimes. Remember it can take longer to prepare a meal on a camping stove so if your children are young, say under 5, like ours are you need to make sure that meal times are planned in more detail than at home.
  • Bathing and washing.  If you are going camping for longer than a weekend and you have children under 5 I would strongly recommend choosing a site where a: family bathrooms are available and also washing facilities are available.  Whilst it is possible to do without these, for the comfort of all involved it is worthwhile paying that bit extra for a site with these facilities.

Our set up summer 2010

We have camped with our children since they were very young, our eldest daughter was aged 2 on her first trip and our youngest 4 months.  With good kit and good organisation, camping is a fantastic way to spend time together, to bond as a family and to experience the great outdoors.  With poor kit and poor organisation, camping is stressful and bad for your health but it is also one of those things that improve with practice, even if your first trip doesn't go to plan, persevere and you may well find that with a bit of practice you will soon catch the bug.
Happy Camping!


Verity camping aged 4 months

Monday, 16 May 2011

Carry on camping

We've been away camping this weekend, it was wet and windy and cold but we loved it!  As we live in a city going camping is like an escape, we are transported to an oasis of nature and the children can play safely outside on grass in mud and puddles, it's great! 

This little family came to visit us at the tent, the girls thought it was fantastic.

Being in a group with friends and family and managing more than adequately with limited belongings is a reminder to me of how we fill our lives and our homes with so much 'stuff' my aim over summer is to cut back on some of that stuff and just enjoy the richness of life without the material interference.


Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Taxing times

New taxation laws were introduced today which will alter the thresholds that many families are taxed at but also at which they receive benefits.  It's been on my mind a lot today for my own family situation having two young children but also my wider network, the people around me in my daughters class at school or nursery, the children and families I have contact with through my work in education and parents everywhere who are trying to make ends meet and raise their children in the best way possible.

There are three major areas of concern to me:
  1.  I believe that most cuts in benefits, e.g. child benefit and tax credits affect predominately women and children and will affect the standard and quality of life for these groups most.   
  2. The changes will potentially stigmatise any kind of benefit/credit making hard working families feeling the pinch less likely to claim even when they are eligible
  3. Policy wise: the target to eradicate child poverty by 2020 seems to be sidelined by successive governments when dealing with fiscal matters affecting families
How many women and children proportionately are making the decisions?  Many women I know are battling hard to have choices about their lives even in the post-feminist world we live.  On my own part, although I believe that the rights of women are central to a democratic soceity, in some ways we continue to enslave women by the opposites, that is, equality is not about being exactly the same, it is about having the same potential and the right to make a choice.  In my opinion women (and men) should have the right to work, equal rights to career progression, equal rights to pay and benefits for the equivalent job but they should also have the option to raise their children if they choose to, take some time out of work without financial penalty, be encouraged and supported in the first place when they choose to have a family and live in a society that values and respects the biological differences between male and female human beings.

Child Benefit is one area that I have never felt was a bad 'benefit' to be claiming, not that other benefits are bad but when through working hard, many families sit on the threshold or cut off points of other taxation and benefits policy, the view that every 'child' was entitled to that benefit was positive, the child focused element of the benefit not tax or earnings related made it palatable across the board, it's not emotive, person specific rather than subjective judgment on circumstance (and yes, I do accept the cost of that) children from every walk of life, every background, every parental circumstance got one thing that was exactly the same, one moment where government policy was largely irrelevant and for a brief moment they were seen as and treated as the same, neither rich or poor, black or white, religious or not, academic or not from the North or the South, no none of these, just children.  Personally I am desperately sad this model has gone and now parental income, class, education, opportunity even equality can evade our children at the most basic level.  I wrote to my MP on this very matter a few months ago and was disappointed by the response that I felt only understood a spreadsheet showing a negative when I long for a way of thinking that centres on real people, real lives.

The unfairness of applying one level to benefit classification nationally is obvious £42-43k in London compared with £42-43k in parts of the North of England is almost like dealing with a different currency, but how do we make it fair?  I don't know the answer and remember children are central here, what are the life chances of children groing up in each of the English regions and in Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales, they have to be considered alongside financial changes .

Finally what are the implications of todays changes on the commitments to eradicate child poverty by 2020?  Some children are going to be worse off, whether this puts them into a technically 'impoverished category' remains to be seen but a taxation system which is purley based on parental income takes no account of background, family levels of debt, compassion, priorities, self esteem.  It cannot be the only way, the terms are too limited  We must learn to think more widely, more collaboratively, we must put children at the heart of policy not pound signs we must learn that parental income is not the only measure of wealth and indeed can completely obscure the picture and take the long term view.

After pondering all this I am still left confused and grateful to not be a politicial in the troubling times we live in, it is hard to make decisions.  I am also left worried though, worried for the fututre of my own children and worried for all those families who will suffer, who may have to make sacrifices, who are but a statistic, a saving and yet they are not only this, families grow children and children are our future.

Thursday, 17 February 2011

An open letter to my daughter on the eve of her first birthday

Well Verity it's almost a year since you arrived in our lives, it's unbelievable now to think that you weren't ever here.

Looking back it seems a world away that we were waiting for you to arrive, you were so wanted by your sister and your Mummy and Daddy and our wishes came true when we learned that you were a girl, the pregnancy was hard-going and from 26 weeks I experienced severe pelvic pain and had to walk with crutches, you did all kinds of funny things twisting and turning inside, I was admitted to hospital and had to leave Olivia at home for the first ever time I was separated from her overnight and I felt so guilty, every day the Dr would come and you were in a different position, we called you, 'The Acrobat Baby.'

And then... on 18th February 2010 at 10.35 you arrived finally, delivered safely by c-section as the music 'Everything I do' by Bryan Adams played randomly on the radio in the background, time stopped and we loved you, but we wondered still how you would fit in our world, could we do it? could we be good enough? could we be good enough twice?

You suffered jaundice and severe reflux, we worried, we waited, we went back to hospital and Drs and we longed for life to be normal again but all the time we 3 were becoming we 4 as we grew to love and appreciate each other more.

We've all been blessed by having you in our lives, you are; baby, sister, daughter, friend, cousin, granddaughter, neice and so much more.  You've put fun and laughter in our hearts with your cheeky and lovable character and you've shown me most of all that love is not shared, in the right circumstances it multiplies.

I am so proud to be your Mummy.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart, a big girl at 1! x

Thursday, 10 February 2011

Back to work

Well the blog kind of stalled as a busy Christmas and going back to work after 14 months loomed.  Both the girls had chicken pox in December followed by the usual hive of activity around Christmas.  Christmas Eve was super special this year as both girls starred in the Crib service on Christmas Eve, one as Jesus and one as an angel, they were amazing!  Being a family of four for the first time at Christmas was lovely and a good time to reflect and be thankful for all that we have been blessed with this year.

2010 will certainly be a year that we remember happily in the future, we welcomed Verity into our family and celebrated several big events, a baptism, a 40th birthday, a 10th wedding anniversary, a 4th birthday and Olivia starting at Primary School.  We also took more holidays than usual, nothing flash but time away from the day to day which gave us all chance to bond as a family and have lots of fun.

2011 started with my return to work, although I can mostly do my job standing on my head I have found it hard emotionally to be away from the children after enjoying every day with them for over a year.  As a parent who generally subscribes to the ideals of attachment parenting, working outside the home challenges me, not least with suitable childcare arrangements which has taken some settling into.  I have been lucky though to have most of Verity's first year off work and the separation from them has made me realise in a fresh way how much I appreciate them and what a blessing they are to me. 

So here I am in February 2011, now a working Mum to two girls, part of a growing family, ever aware of the challenges that lie ahead in life but trying more than ever to be positive and grateful for all that I have.